Dear Dr. Smotrich, and the Entire staff at La Jolla IVF

Do not ever underestimate the place you have on this earth – the influence you exert most unexpectedly – this remarkable thing. It is easy to know how you impact your family, your friends, your colleagues, but do you ever wonder how your presence – the work you do and the way you carry yourself when you do it – can entirely transform the destiny of a life, of a family, of people whose name you will forget in a year or a decade.

I am only one, but there are no doubt countless others that feel, but perhaps cannot place in words, our gratitude for the transient but extraordinary role you have had in our lives.
One small word of compassion, an act of kindness, a humorous exchange, a gesture of understanding have over and again lifted my spirit, disconsolate and worn down by so many failures. You have no idea the strength you have imparted to me, the willingness to forge ahead because I knew I would be nurtured with kindness and with grace. You have been a cocoon that comforted no matter how ferocious the world outside, no matter the stark reality that the likelihood of success for many of us is indeed slim.

We who have failed to conceive by traditional means have not arrived on your doorstep out of weakness, but out of strength, determination and perseverance. And after months and years of these small tortures of injections and surgeries and endless ultrasounds, we have learned stoicism because we had no choice, and because we are inherently hearty stock. But I for one, have had many cracks in my armor, yet I have always felt safe and unjudged by you in the decisions we have made. You have been the warm blanket in the coldest hour, solace in times of mourning. Your ministrations have always been genuine and we have never felt humored or placated; only cared for deeply. I wonder sometimes if we would have persevered so long had you not made this journey livable. And had we not endured -had not your ministrations been so tender- we would not have the family -born and unborn-that grows around and within us now.

In this way, take due credit for the miracle which you have so carefully crafted. Know that your presence, in a very tangible way, in even the smallest expressions of being, has profoundly influenced the course which our lives now take.

So, when you wake up fatigued and cranky, reluctant to come to work, anticipating tedium -just remember that in ways which you cannot even fathom: a word, a tender look, an empathetic hug- in a fleeting moment imperceptible to you, you may very well transform the path -the very destiny, the entire course of life of another human being that will fulfill them and bring them immeasurable joy for the years they have left on this earth. This is the remarkable thing.

With our sincere gratitude MOST,

- Alex and Nick and Magdalena, Anastasie, Luca and Avalene