Whenever any of our patients' treatments result in
a baby, we celebrate their joy in the miracle of life. From time to time,
however, couples with extraordinarily intractable cases come to us with very
little hope for success. When such a couple is successful (to our amazement)
the joy is just a little sweeter!
Due to the very personal nature of fertility treatment, we are very careful
to maintain our patients' anonymity. Although the names and places in the
following "believe it or not" stories have been changed, the facts being
reported are faithfully accurate(unless patients have agreed to allow their
actual names to be used).
To: Dr. David Smotrich,
and the entire staff at La Jolla IVF:
Do not ever underestimate the place you have
on this earth - the influence you exert most unexpectedly - this
remarkable thing. It is easy to know how you impact
your family, your friends, your colleagues, but do you ever wonder how your
presence - the
work you do and the way you carry yourself when you do it - can entirely
transform the destiny of a life, of a family, of people whose name you will
forget in a year or a decade.
I am only one, but there are no doubt countless others that feel, but perhaps
cannot place in words, our gratitude for the transient but extraordinary role
you have had in our lives.
One small word of compassion, an act of kindness, a humorous exchange, a gesture of understanding have over and again lifted my spirit, disconsolate and worn down by so many failures. You have no idea the strength you have imparted to me, the willingness to forge ahead because I knew I would be nurtured with kindness and with grace. You have been a cocoon that comforted no matter how ferocious the world outside, no matter the stark reality that the likelihood of success for many of us is indeed slim.
We who have failed to conceive by traditional means have not arrived on your doorstep out of weakness, but out of strength, determination and perseverance. And after months and years of these small tortures of injections and surgeries and endless ultrasounds, we have learned stoicism because we had no choice, and because we are inherently hearty stock. But I for one, have had many cracks in my armor, yet I have always felt safe and unjudged by you in the decisions we have made. You have been the warm blanket in the coldest hour, solace in times of mourning. Your ministrations have always been genuine and we have never felt humored or placated; only cared for deeply. I wonder sometimes if we would have persevered so long had you not made this journey livable. And had we not endured -had not your ministrations been so tender- we would not have the family -born and unborn-that grows around and within us now.
In this way, take due credit for the miracle which you have so carefully crafted. Know that your presence, in a very tangible way, in even the smallest expressions of being, has profoundly influenced the course which our lives now take.
So, when you wake up fatigued and cranky, reluctant to come to work, anticipating tedium -just remember that in ways which you cannot even fathom: a word, a tender look, an empathetic hug- in a fleeting moment imperceptible to you, you may very well transform the path -the very destiny, the entire course of life of another human being that will fulfill them and bring them immeasurable joy for the years they have left on this earth. This is the remarkable thing.
With our most sincere gratitude,
Alex and Nick and Magdalena, Anastasie, Luca and Avalene
Our Patients' Featured Thank you's . . .
Why We Have Children
I gaze out our back porch and see the skeleton of a tree with no leaves, still
graceful in death, rendered lifeless by the heat of that fire that nearly tore
through our home, lapping at the windows like a starving animal, frantic to get
through. I can still smell the choking smoke in the back of my throat and the
heat singe the tops of my lips -me panting in desperation as my husband and I finally slump down in exhaustion before the wall of flames as if bowing in defeat to a carnivorous beast.
I turn to her, amazed at how remarkably unfettered is her gaze as we share
the view, to her that tree is a mesmerizing profile of starkness and simplicity,
shades of black and gray piercing the background of so many hues of color
a fascinating form of long, languid, sinewy branches and other things imagined
as a thousand tiny expressions fly across her face.
We are gently swinging in the hammock, staring at the sky, I see the hawk that has shared our land for many years soaring overhead, and wonder when it will finally earn its keep and rid us of the gophers that plague our garden, the mounds of dirt that seem to appear in moments out of nowhere, the trees morphing slowly into dry emaciated stringy remnants as their roots are gnawed into points finer than a pencil - I turn to her to see her watching this gliding by of something small and uncomplicated across her field of view, associated with no anticipation or expectation, to her, no specific job to do; just a simple graceful movement across a blue expanse of nothingness which in that brief moment is everything and all there is. Her lips widen to a smile and she giggles just a little, finding mirth in every flap of wing and dip in flight.
I am watering the garden, hose in one hand, and she straddling my other hip. I inspect the wrinkled web-suffocated leaves consumed by pesty aphids, we buys cans of this and that and spray and water and hope and sigh, admitting our defeat before the army of invisibles that decimate the greenery, which by now barely clings to life. She watches the spray of water, oblivious of consternation -to her the leaves are crinkled jade, threaded with white lace, an intricate pattern of magnificence, an exquisite puzzle to solve, compelling her gaze for time that must seem eternal, unfettered by deadlines and to-dos. I stand there transfixed by her concentration.
I listen to the roaring of the engine of the plane as we finally leave the ground, a fatigue settling in after the rush and hurry and push and scurry, and the endless waiting in lines, the weary dressing and undressing and puffs of air on my face to sense a bomb or flash of sulfer. And then the discourse with security- the inane debate as to whether yogurt is a solid or is it a liquid I must discard before we leave the ground? All this because some madmen believe nothing of the sanctity of life and made two tombs of rubble that marshaled so many to their death.
I look down to her and marvel at her rapture in this moment. To her who knows of none of this, who understands nothing of the blanket of misery suffocating those left behind by the masses of the dead- to her the muffled roar of this great machine excites, the power and a speed that seems impossibly extreme, racing like a rocket, the world receding to a speck of tiny towns of tiny squares and tiny fields and tiny cars, the itsiest of mountains, the bitsiest of canyons, the billow of the clouds enveloping and snuggling and her safe in the hum and drum of speed and sound - extraordinary! what our frail and mortal beings do in time and space, what wonder in the whirring, what magic in the surge.
When I think of how she sees the simple sway of trees and that skeleton of bark charred black, becomes to me at once a noble statue, a thing of poise and grace, not a vestige of its own diminished life, but a cornucopia to earth and to a trillion other lives. Now no longer concerned with feeding itself, it feeds the beetles and the termites and the spiders and the worms - a miracle of cycles I seldom stop to see.
I gaze about, through the eyes of my child, and wonder at the beauty of everything I see. I catch my breath as I shed the layers of wisdom and experience and cynicism and see once again only the pure magnificence of all that surrounds me.
And the four children that renew me - one born and three yet to be - we become a circle: I learn all over through the eyes of my child as she coos and burbles at all the miracles she sees; and the three lives that grow in me now, I pray, see these miracles through my eyes that see these miracles through my child's.
ONE LIFE - "I'm the Daddy"
Please click on
the La Jolla IVF
video to your left to download and view the BBC documentary - One Life - "I'm the Daddy". The true story of a single father of triplets coming back to the United States to meet Dr. Smotrich and Team at La Jolla IVF.
Enjoy!
Below is the book written by the father of these triplets, Ian Mucklejohn
And Then There Were 3
The Exceptional Story of a Remarkable Family
Written By: Ian Mucklejohn
For the Love of a Family – One Patient's Story
In February 2006, the BBC (British television) visited La Jolla IVF and Dr. Smotrich to film a documentary on Mr. Ian Mucklejohn (a former patient of Dr. Smotrich) for their prime-time series "One Life" (equivalent to 20/20 or 60 Minutes). Mr. Mucklejohn is a single gentleman from Berkshire, England who was a patient of Dr. Smotrich's in 2000. He became a parent of triplet boys after using an egg donor and a gestational surrogate.
The documentary, part of which was filmed at La Jolla IVF in San Diego follows Mr. Mucklejohn and his three boys on their journey to meet the doctor who helped create them and to meet with the donor and surrogate who generously helped give the triplets life.
How do we find our way to a happy and fulfilled life? Single and just over
50, Mr. Mucklejohn deeply longed for a family but did not want to abandon
his increasingly dependent parents. He had resigned himself to the fact that
it would be hard to find the woman of his dreams who would want to share
the demanding care of his aging parents. I was only when a friend happened
to mention parenting by surrogacy that Mr. Mucklejohn set out on a journey
that would make history. He has written a book entitled "And Then There Were
3" in which he chronicles a touching account of a truly remarkable family
and how this family was created thousands of miles across the ocean in California
specifically by Dr. Smotrich, La Jolla IVF's laboratory, a caring egg donor/surrogate
birth of his sons Lars, Ian and Piers and how the boys have enriched his
life and changed his attitude forever.
The three boys now five years old, met with Dr. Smotrich and presented
him with a copy of the book signed by each of them showing off their wonderful,
childish five year old handwriting. As the boys wrestle and play at his
feet, there is no mistaking their adoration for the father they so strikingly
resemble. He, in turn, is so generous with his hugs, patience and ultimate
devotion.
There can be no doubt especially after meeting and interacting with the boys and Mr. Mucklejohn that they are a lovely and loving family. And, after all isn't that just what it's all about?
Mr. and Mrs. T. came to La Jolla IVF from France after enduring 15 previous IVF cycles in Europe and one egg donor/surrogate cycle at a large IVF center in California. So, by the time this couple arrived on our doorstep they had racked up a total of 16 previous assisted reproductive technology cycles. After lengthy discussions with the doctor, the couple decided to try another egg donor/surrogate cycle. Two blastocysts (day 5 embryos) were transferred to the surrogate and three blastocysts were frozen. The surrogate is presently pregnant and in her second trimester. Everyone at La Jolla IVF and the couple are delighted with the result.
The moral of this story is that persistence did eventually pay off!
Update: Babies are born and couple returned for frozen transfer, so another family member has arrived!
Too Old?...Maybe Not!
When Mr. and Mrs. H. came to La Jolla IVF from Texas,they had already gone through 10 IVF cycles at three different IVF centers across the country. The problem was that Mrs. H. was 46 years old and was adamant that she wanted to use her own eggs. Her day 3 FSH blood level was slightly elevated but she was still insistent that she did not want to use an egg donor. Dr. Smotrich suggested that if she would not use a donor perhaps she would consider using a surrogate. The couple agreed and found a surrogate that they were comfortable with but she was 37 years old. Dr. Smotrich let the patients know that the combination of older eggs into an older surrogate was not exactly a recipe for success. In any event, the couple were well aware that their chances were almost zero but nevertheless they wanted to forge ahead. Mrs. H. produced 6 eggs,all were fertilized and transferred into the surrogate.
Lo and behold the couple now have a baby boy!
The
Quicker the Better
Mr. and Mrs. M. got married in February 2003. This was the second marriage for Mrs. M. who has two children from her previous marriage. Mr. and Mrs. M. wanted a child together - the only issue (they thought) was that Mrs. M. was 43 years old. The couple tried to conceive without medical intervention for about five months and then came to La Jolla IVF for an evaluation and treatment plan. A semen analysis showed that the only way Mr. M.’s sperm could fertilize an egg was through Intra Cytoplasmic Sperm Injection (ICSI). This meant that the couple needed to do an IVF/ICSI cycle. Dr. Smotrich suggested the couple consider using an egg donor but they were very focused on using Mrs. M.’s eggs. Of course, they understood their chances of success with Mrs. M.’s own eggs at the age of 43 were minimal. The
couple went through their IVF/ICSI cycle and their embryo transfer was performed on 7-18-03 about six months after they were married. Today Mr. and Mrs. M. are the proud parents of Baby M.
So it goes to show, sometimes, quick intervention with the “big guns”is the way to go!
All's Well that Ends Well
Mr. and Mrs. G. came to La Jolla IVF from the East Coast specifically for egg donation as Mrs. G. was 45 years old. In addition,adoption was not an option for this couple as they had experienced a previous heartbreaking situation when the birth mother of the little girl living with them changed her mind and took her child back. By the time Mr. and Mrs. G. came to La Jolla IVF for their egg donor cycle, Mrs. G. had undergone a laparoscopy/hysteroscopy to remove endometriomas from her ovaries, adhesions and polyps from the uterus. On the day of the egg retrieval, Mr. G. required TESE to extract sperm from his testes. Intracytoplasmic Sperm Injection
(ICSI) with sex selection was performed on the eggs. Several embryos were transferred. Subsequent to the transfer, Mrs. G.’s hormone levels were very low.
Her doctor on the East Coast told her to stop all her luteal phase support because she could not be pregnant with such low blood hormone levels. Dr. Smotrich disagreed and asked Mrs. G. to continue her supplementation for another few weeks.
Today Mr. and Mrs. G. have a little girl and are returning in the new year to try for baby number two.
Update: Baby number two is here and Charly has a brother!
